Erotski Empatija: Produbljivanje vaš užitak Bond
Ah veljači! Mjesec dana slaviti ljubav! Vremena za povezivanje romantično, senzualno i soulfully s našim Valentinovo, razmjena poklona, i intenzivirati užitak veza između nas.
Tu je posebno učinkovit način kako bi ovaj dubini od intimnosti u svoj ljubavni život i izlazi iz spavaće sobe kroz proces zovem „erotski empatije“.
sam skovao taj termin nakon proučavanja vrhunski učinkovitu komunikaciju metode i primjena na moj rad u intimnosti i seksualnosti. To se zove nenasilne komunikacije ili nk. (Ako ste već upoznati s ovom metodom, prijeđite na sljedeću stavku. Ako ne, nemojte se dovoditi u zabludu ili odložiti uz pojam „ne nasilan“.) Vidite, Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, psiholog koji je stvorio svoj sustav, razvijen tijekom 1960-pokreta za građanska prava da pomogne izliječiti raskola između skupina u sukobu. Iako je termin činilo prikladnim za vrijeme, riječ „nasilni“ sada se čini da se aktiviraju iskrivljene percepcije. Dakle, danas, često se spominju kao „milosrdan komunikacije“, iako je skraćeno „nk“ je također još uvijek popularan.
Bez obzira na naziv koji ste ga dati, ovaj komunikacijski alat nas uči da se odnose jedan prema drugome u ne-judgmental, suosjećajan način. To je prekrasan alat za izgradnju povjerenja i razumijevanja među pojedincima i grupama. Štoviše, sam pronašao da nk je prekrasan sustav kako bi ljubiteljima osjećaju međusobno razumjeti i duboko povjerenje. I to se može primijeniti na sve aspekte dating, romantiku, udvaranja i braka.
Na primjer, neka je zamisliti da ste vi i vaš partner su oko voditi ljubav. U „Stvaranje Erotski Safety Net“ dijela moje knjige, ja ohrabriti partnere pitati jedan drugoga: „Što vas najviše želite i trebate od mene upravo sada?“ No, pretpostavimo da je vaš partner je zahtjev za vas da učinite nešto što vas čini neugodan ili ne možete uključiti. Što ćete učiniti sada? Kako ste komunicirati svoje osjećaje, bez stvaranja sukoba, frustracija i otuđenje?
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primjer
Korak 1:. Obratiti pažnju na ono što se vidi i Čuo bez dodano tumačenje:
npr. Moj ljubavnik je upravo me je zamolio da napraviti strip zafrkavati za njega. (Nemojte dodati bilo koji razloga zašto mislite da je napravio ovaj zahtjev Jednostavno opisuju ponašanje..)
Korak 2: Odvojite svoje osjećaje od svoje misli
(na primjer možda ste kritičke misli prema njemu kao „on je stvarno kinky“ ili neke self-kritike, kao što su: „Ja bih izgledati kao budala, ako sam to učinio“, ili čak, „Osjećam se postvaruju ili disrespected“ – koja uključuje . tumačenje svog partnera o namjeri Umjesto toga, obavijest emocije ispod misli, kao što su, „Osjećam se neugodno“ ili „Osjećam se prepala ili sam tužan“
Korak 3: Povezivanje s željom ili nezadovoljene potrebe ispod osjećaj
npr. „Osjećam se tužno, jer upravo sada trebam ljubav, poštovanje, suosjećanje, poštovanje“, itd.
Korak 4: Prepustite empatiju za Vaša nezadovoljene potrebu ili želju
naše potrebe i želi, čak i kada neispunjena, su dragocjeni darovi. Oni su dio energije koja nam daje naš osjećaj životnost, ključna komponenta naše humanosti.
Korak 5: Napravite Zahtjev za priključenje
Postoje dvije vrste zahtjeva:. Zahtjevi za priključak i zahtjeve za akciju Od veze, razumijevanje, iskustvo je „dobila“ su bitne za stvaranje povjerenja i intimnosti među partnerima, mi ćemo početi sa zahtjevom za vezu:
Te moć probati koristeći jednu od sljedećih,
„Biste li bili voljni recite mi što ste upravo čuli mi reći? „ili
“ Biste li mi reći vaše razumijevanje moje osjećaje i potrebe? „ili
“ Biste li bili voljni slušati mene govoriti o mom iskustvu? „
Prije donošenja akcije zahtjev (molba za specifična ponašanja iz svog partnera kako bi zadovoljili vaše potrebe), Ja čvrsto predlažemo vam prvi pokušaj da se daju empatije sa svojim partnerom za nezadovoljene potrebe ili želje on ili ona može se pojavljuje. (To će mu pomoći da se presele iz bilo kojeg osuđujuće misli on svibanj biti držanje prema vama, kao što su „ona je tako napet“ ili prema sebi, kao što je „Ja bi trebao imati je zadržao moja velika usta zatvorena, sad sam uzrujan nju“. Umjesto toga, ako neka zna da priznaju i poštuju želite, potrebu ili želju da se može imati pogon njegov zahtjev, to će privući vas oboje bliže. Na taj način pokušati reći nešto poput,
„Ja zamisliti svoj skidanje za vas bi stvarno zadovoljiti vašu želju za zabavu i igru „
ili“ Mislim da me vidi traka će stvarno biti uzbudljiv za vas „.
Pretpostavimo da i sada osjećam čuo , razumio ili priznato od strane jednog drugog
Korak 6:. Izrada akcijskog Zahtjev
Možda ćete pitati partnera:
„Biste li bili voljni da mi reći što vas cijenimo o meni kao ljubavnik, ili ono što vam najatraktivnije o meni? „
Ako se on složi, onda on može pitati,
“ Bi vam biti spremni probati događaj strip zafrkavati za mene, a ako se počnete osjećati neugodno, samo javite mi i ja ću doći, a vi držite nježno u mojim rukama. „
s erotskim empatija, ja sugeriraju da dodate sljedeće elemente na svoj milosrdan komunikacije Oni će vam pomoći da zadržite senzualan energija teče između vas dok ste pričaju.
1) Ostanite u fizičkom kontaktu – dodirivanjem vašeg partnera ruku, koljena, ramena, ili neki drugi dio tijela da pomaže i od vas da se osjećaju sigurno, temelji i povezan
2) Držite vaš glas ton soft i ohrabrujuće -. glas koji generira sigurnost, prihvaćanje i brige će pomoći vašem partneru odgovaranja njegovim ili njenim potrebama za sigurnost i poštivanje
3) Održavati kontakt očima -. to će vam pomoći da vidite kako ranjivi, tender aspekte jedni drugima kao d to napraviti lakše prevladati kritički misli i preseliti se u mjestu prihvata i skrbi
4) Pristup ugodno sjećanja -.. Pažljivo se prisjetiti kvalitete vaš partner posjeduje koje donose radost i zadovoljstvo u vaš život
Da bi nastaviti rasti na način da se produbiti svoje iskustvo u ljubavi i biti voljen.
voljeti i biti voljen.
Bio
Bonnie Gabriel, MA, pomaže muškarcima i ženama dati glas za romantične i seksualne želje na načine koji stvaraju duboke veze za nju besplatno priručnika: „. Verbalna Karizma: Kako privući ljubavnik i utrti put za Strastveni Connection“ ići http://lovetalk . .org / slobodno-izvješće-verbalni-karizma /
Ona je autor knjige Random House, Fine Art erotskog Razgovor: Kako zavesti, Excite i Enchant vaš ljubavnik s riječima http .. / / lovetalk.org / art-oferotic razgovor / njezinim riječima za ljubitelje blog pomaže čitateljima otkriti nove načine dati glas puni spektar svog iskustva kao ljubavnik – u tijelo, um, srce i duh Bonnie drži MA u psihologiju Savjetovanje iz New Yorka University.and je trenirao u psihodrami, fokusiranje, nenasilne komunikacije (nk), i druge modalitete.
Bonnie Gabriel je objavljen autora, seks pedagog, producent radio emisije / voditelj i bivši koledž savjetnika. Ona je najpoznatiji za nju hvaljeni Bantam / Doubleday knjige „, likovne umjetnosti erotskog Razgovor: Kako zavesti, Excite i Enchant vaš ljubavnik s riječi“. (Knjiga je također objavljena na njemačkom jeziku kao „Worte Der Lust: Die Kunst des erotischen Sprechens“ Schwarzkopf i Schwarzkopf,, izdavači) Ona je također domaćin website i blog pod nazivom „Riječi za Lovers“ na lovetalk.org Tu možete. primati besplatan primjerak svoje priručnik, „Verbalna Karizma: Kako privući ljubavnik i utrti put za Strastveni Connection“
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Ознаке: Bond, Empatija, Erotski, Produbljivanje, užitak, vaš
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